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Well, besides Daphne, I’ve definitely been doing some thinking, or perhaps a lack of thinking! Finally, after 4 years of having various academic jobs in Academia, I’ve finally got a job in the ‘real world.’ As of today I’m officially a waiter at Zucchi’s Italian Ristorante. I started my training on Tuesday and two days later I already have my own tables. I walked in today assuming that I would yet again follow another waiter like a small puppy dog. Instead I was greeted with the following. “Apollo, you have section A today. Good luck!” I almost died on the inside. There are so many things to do that are just common sense, but sometimes I just forget or don’t get it. A 4.0 GPA doesn’t get you everything, I suppose.

The people I work with are awesome! All the waiters are around my age and they have all been waiting tables for what seems like forever to me! I think I’m really going to enjoy this type of work. Anything that keeps me moving and not sitting down at a desk getting bored is what I’m going for this summer. This is the first summer that I’m only “working.” The interesting part is that I’m using all the money I make to pay for my student housing. Gosh, housing is the most expensive part of my tuition. Oh well, who cares.

I had 3 total tables today. Thank goodness that was it. I got them their drinks, their salads, everything was just perfect. Nobody had food spilled on them or had their orders incorrectly processed. Lets hope I can keep that trend going! I made 26 dollars in tips. I guess that’s pretty good considering! I was hoping to make at least “2 dollars” today based on my service.

When I walked up to my first table, you could tell that they knew that I was new. It was almost like they picked up on my fear and were feeding off of it! Hah, but they were super sweet in the end!

On the one hand I know I’ll have more waiter stories, lets just hope they don’t end up with me without a job or something along those lines.
P.S. Daphne is a waitress too now, I wish she would come work with me

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Apparently I only post to this blog whenever there is a girl involved. I promise that more is going on in my life than dealing with a certain 17 year old girl(who shall now be referred to as Daphne), but it’s kind of the most interesting read.

Well today, Daphne and I started talking again over text. I asked her if she was over me yet and she gave me a round about response, of course I was oblivious. Before I wished her good night she said “I’ll just imagine your arms around me.” I am totally a sucker for this romantic mushy stuff. I sent her a text when it started raining saying that I’d like to kiss her in the rain. About twenty minutes later, right when the Spurs won their game tonight, she texted me the following:

“Here’s a hypothetical scenario for you, so this girl(daphne) is in love with a guy, but then she goes away to school. They agree not to start a relationship yet but they’re both to be at school together in a year so they promise to wait for each other. Meanwhile they are in every true sense of the word best friends. So while this girl is at school she is very careful to not let her heart be stolen or lead anyone on. 3 weeks from the end of school someone(Apollo) notices her who has looked straight past her the whole time. She tells him not to get attached, but he’s very persistent and against all odds and her better judgement, and even a little inconveniently, she falls for him. The two boys don’t know about each other. Well, one of them does now. He doesn’t know that I fell for you…and you didn’t know there was someone else.”

It took me a while to understand what was going on here. I was confused at first because my reading comprehension skills are bad. So, yay. She’s fallen for me, and I’ve fallen for her! Too bad there is other stuff going on here. Eventually, she asked if I was upset. So, I gave her a call and we talked. Apparently she doesn’t like talking over the cell phone, but she had to deal with it *smile*. I wasn’t upset. I knew from the beginning that she was interested in staying just friends with everyone here because she had a “complicated” relationship with someone not from this area. But, like I told her from the very beginning (3 weeks ago), I had to find out if there was something between us. It’s a good thing I did! There obviously is. But Apollo, aren’t you mad that you’re the “other” guy? I don’t feel upset, and I’m not mad. Remember, neither of us “three” are in a relationship with each other. Also, promises said before high school ends don’t exactly matter in the grand scheme of things. And here’s the part where I’ve matured.

This girl is a lot like Sarah to me. Not Sarah the person, but Sarah the feelings, the connection, the understanding. Obviously, I don’t equate them, but there is a connection here, something a little deeper than any fling or relationship I’ve ever had. I want to explore my relationship with Daphne more, I need to! When I was with Sarah I was 18 and not very mature or wise, although I certainly would have told you differently. However, now I’m at the ripe old age of 21(sigh) I have different outlooks on these types of situations. It is interesting however that I am handling this new “Sarah” completely different than I handled the old one. I don’t know if it’s maturity, or how I’m different, or how Daphne is completely different.

When she was surprised I wasn’t mad I just said this. “3 years ago I would have tried my hardest to convince you to stay with me, to be with me and not some other guy. But this isn’t 3 years ago. I can’t change your mind one way or the other and I’m not going to try and convince you on the path you need to go. I can certainly try, but I won’t. However, I can always be there for you no matter what choice you make.” So many interesting things were said during that phone call that I just have to try and remember. She admitted, finally, that she liked me and fell for me. She admitted that her friend thought that we were cute together. I think there were more things…maybe I can remember them later.

After she went to bed I proceeded to go bowling with my friends. Last week when I went bowling I was a complete mess. At that point Daphne and I weren’t “talking” anymore. Even though I had previously invited her out to go see Iron Man that Thursday night, I didn’t call her to go see it. Consequently she went to go see it with her friends. She was upset with me that I didn’t call but I wasn’t feeling great either. Last week when I went bowling I was totally moping around. I didn’t care about my bowling and all my thoughts were turned to her. Daphne and I haven’t spent more than a day and a half together consecutively, and yet I still know that she fits for the lack of a better term. Daphne asked me about that tonight. I told her I had been messed up over a girl I had only really gotten to know recently. I told her that I knew that she kept trying to distance herself from me after we would hang out, only to have her come back more.
Sometimes for a day or two we wouldn’t talk, and then suddenly we would text all day. It’s a good feeling to know that she had to try to keep herself from talking to me too much. Something about salvaging her dignity… *smile*

We’re going to the West Texas Jazz Society on Saturday night. I hope it will be as fun as I am imagining it. Good music, beautiful girl, and some dancing. Oh god…I need to remember what steps are for what dances. Surely there has to be a website out there for this kind of thing! I’m really excited to spend a magical night with her. This will probably be one of the last I will spend with her… *sad face* I know all my other friends that are reading this are cringing, but, who cares. She makes me truly happy, without all the puppy love and things that go with it. I enjoy being around her and honestly I have no hesitations about whatever is coming. Usually there is something always in the back of my mind, but tonight I am only looking forward!

Wow, I really like this girl.

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There was so much to do. So many places to go, so many laughs to laugh. So many hugs, kisses, and glances into eyes have vanished. So many songs I wanted to sing to her by candlelight.

Hopefully that one picture of us turns out. I need a momento, something other than a memory to let myself know that it was real and not a fairy tale.

If anyone reading this is wondering what this is in reference to, refer to the post “Girl.” Today, she left.

My brain is turned off, but my heart definitely isn’t.

You’re something special.

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*tone=matter of fact*
Honestly, what did you expect? Surely it wasn’t rainbows and unicorns that you expected after a conversation that starts off with “don’t freak out, but..” I wasn’t rude, mean or hateful. I’m not going to pretend I don’t care, I do. But, you got what you asked for. Actually, I gave you exactly what you asked for. No need to pretend we’re together when we aren’t..right? You had stuff to do, as well as I, and I didn’t feel comfortable talking to you for any longer than I did. I’m pretty awkward if I’m uncomfortable, and that’s exactly what I was. I wasn’t mad or upset, I was just giving you exactly what you wanted. Why am I being faulted for that now? Here’s how I really feel: Congratulations on making things difficult before they had to be. That’s it really. I guess I should would have liked to hang out one last time knowing that it would be the finale. Now things might end up awkward…again…and there will be no closure for a long time. Fun.

In other less exciting news, I go to Seminole tomorrow(today) to apply as a substitute teacher. I’m probably going to sub for the rest of May, if I end up liking it. Also, I applied as a waiter today at Zucchi’s Italian Ristorante! I met the owner, he seemed nice enough. There is a Deaf kid working as a bus boy and kitchen worker. This tells me that I HAVE to work there. I so desperately needed something to keep me involved in American Sign Language and I think this kid is going to be it. He communicates well enough by reading lips and writing things down for the other staff members, but I would be such an asset if I could help out by being able to communicate with him in a natural manner.

Too bad I was sad all night. It gets annoying “what’s on your mind man,” or “what’s wrong Austin,” every time I get up to go bowl. They already know.

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1. I am a musician
2. I am a guitar player
3. I am a pilot
4. I am a dreamer
5. I am a singer
6. I am a student
7. I am a graduate
8. I am a romantic
9. I am a trumpet player
10. I am a piano player
11. I am an actor
12. I am a stage director
13. I am deaf
14. I speak Spanish
15. I sign American Sign Language
16. I am a flirt
17. I am a sweet talker
18. I am addicted to facebook
19. I am a hippy
20. I am a free thinker
21. I am not religious
22. I am an Ultimate player
23. I am an Ultimate captain
24. I am a graduate assistant
25. I am a teacher
26. I am a role model
27. I am a jack of all trades, master of nothing

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Today went pretty well actually. I found out that I’ll be buying the Mosrite. I took out a $1500 loan to pay my father for it. I’m excited to have that feel of the guitar back in my hands. It is a very distinguished guitar, not the generic “stratocaster” look. Although I love the strats, I’ve never seen another Mosrite in person in my life. I’m getting the guitar, case, and amplifier all for $1800. This is probably the most expensive thing I’ve ever ‘purchased’ on my own. And, wouldn’t you know it, it’s bought on credit. Typical American.

The gentleman that bought it is just going to let it sit in his house until my father has a friend drive him to go pick it up. Then, from there, he will send it back to himself by greyhound. Then, from there he will somehow pack it up to the local UPS or fedex or something, and he will send it to me. I’ll be out another $100 dollars in shipping, but it will  be mine. Nothing will happen till next week, but at least it will be mine, irregardless of my paying for it or not. Besides, a mint Ventures guitar is worth around $4,000. It’s not exactly a bad investment.

I finished another class when I turned in my project today. Now all I have to do is complete an analysis of a nonprofit for my class. Sounds interesting? No absolutely not. If I’m ever involved in a nonprofit ever again I hope it’s actually working for one instead of learning about them.

Changed the theme a little bit, hope it lightens up the website a tad!

Tomorrow I need to apply for jobs, finish my test for the nonprofit class, call my doctors office and schedule the surgery. It’s time to get my tonsils out and the sooner the better! Anybody want to hire a graduate student?

P.S. Landshark is an awesome beer

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Let’s just hope in 24 hours I can fix everything I just goofed up.

Yes you know why
Why you and I
Will by and by
Know true love ways.

Sometimes we’ll sigh
Sometimes we’ll cry
And we’ll know why
Just you and I
Know true love ways.
My father just sold his 1965 Mosrite Venture guitar. The guitar is vintage, obviously, and is a dream to play and sounds great. Besides being in the cockpit with my dad, the first image that comes into my mind is the picture of that blue guitar being played. I remember my father playing Buddy Holly’s “True Love Ways.” I felt so much emotion back then when I was 4 or 5 that I just cried while my dad played the song on his guitar. I know I shouldn’t focus on the guitar, but to me that thing is a part of my life and will be one of the few things I have of my father whenever he disappears from my life, forever.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s his guitar(was?) and he’s in such narrow straits that he must do with it as he pleases no matter if he promised it to me or not. However, I’m upset because I felt entitled to it. Tomorrow, he’s going to contact the people that he sold the guitar to, for $1800, and see if they will sell it back to me. I’ll have to take out another student loan, something very familiar to me. Hopefully that family has it in their heart to take their money back so that a son can keep something from his father.

I was so mad that he sold it that I sent him a hateful email. I shouldn’t have done that. However, he needed to hear some of those things from me. Just because you hit hard times doesn’t absolve you of not taking care of your child for the first 18 years of their life. He had hard luck, but some things are just too much to forgive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5×9PPtPmoy4

And, apparently this blog gets me in trouble. Maybe I’ll just wait a couple months till people stop reading it to start posting again. Too bad this is so therapeutic.

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Oh man. Two 15 page papers were written in the span of 5 days. Completely awesome! I’m sure I failed both papers. That doesn’t really matter in graduate school, right? Speaking of, I’m so damn tempted to take a C in one of my classes it’s retarded. The teacher has a chip on her shoulder, I have a chip on my shoulder, and nobody is really awesomely working together.

However, the last couple of nights have been pretty awesome. Even though I’ve been swamped throughout the days trying to research various things and meeting deadlines that seem misplaced, I’ve been making some time for a pretty cool person. It’s a girl..just to make sure everybody knows*smile*

There is really something to say when you meet someone that makes you smile and makes you laugh. And somehow she thinks I’m cute….I guess I’m not really sure how that one works*smile* Her personality is awesome and I’m glad that whatever is happening is happening. Can’t really be more vague than that! Oh…did I mention she’s beautiful? There’s a reason I wouldn’t look at her too long whenever we weren’t really talking.*smile*

A couple people ask what exactly is going on…but I’m not saying too much. All I am saying is that I’m enjoying being around her*smile*

And now for something completely different…Last night Astro and I were those two fans you hate. You know, the guys rooting for the away team when the entire stadium is happily cheering for the home team We utilized the “shaking your upside down hat while the opposing team pitches and your team is at bat and then putting the hat back on right when the pitcher hits the ball” technique.

We won 9-7, eat that Midland Rockhounds! Nobody messes with the Houston Astros Double AA Corpus Christi Hooks!

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I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about her and the whole interesting little situation. Something I understand only when I’m in certain moods…why limit yourself?

We limit ourselves from doing things when we know we’re going to get hurt. But why do it when the perceived value of gaining from the experience outweighs the cons? It may seem like the responsible thing to do oftentimes, but if you’ve already taken the steps..might as well go for it all the way!

Putting limits on it now is so much unneeded stress when it could be awesome for as long as it lasts Oh well…

I’ll be thinking about this all night. :\

I promise I’ll eventually have some happy blogs

Astros lost today

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Since I’m a sentimental person, I’ll probably revisit this webpage years after I stop writing to it. Speaking of which, I’m a sentimental person. Normal every day objects hold particular value to me. I have scrapbooks full of things from my first year of college at Tech. Moviestubs…concert tickets…cards…poems…scripts from the plays I was in. I mean, I wear pilot’s wings as a necklace because they have special value to me. Looking back on it seems like Lubbock was just a fantasy. Thank god I save things like those because otherwise I would have forgotten about them months after they happened.

Anyway, what I’m getting at is it also helps job my memory if I write down things. And..what’s the trendiest way of writing stuff down? Blog. Yay. Boo. Hiss.

Daniel is my original best friend. We grew up together. I was always at his house, he was always at mine. We are also the original fighters. Daniel and I could argue about anything, everything, and nothing. Nobody could hurt each others feelings more and nobody could be more of a jerk. I love him Daniel moved away in 8th grade to go to high school somewhere else to be with his mom.

I told Daniel to take off a weekend from work so he could come take some pictures of my team in action at a tournament. He’s a good beginning photographer with a real knowledge of what he’s shooting. Anyway, the tournament fell through.

So instead he went to Seminole and I joined him for the weekend. What can I say? The weekend was full of Mario Kart and Raving Rabbids. What else do adult men in their 20s do when there is no alcohol to be shared? It was good to be around my buddy. It was just really interesting. Daniel has changed, surely, but not as much as I have.

The last time I saw him was when I was at Texas Tech. That alone is a big difference. My personality has changed a lot, my mannerisms are completely different…and it was odd to have Daniel react to my OLD personality. Things said in sarcasm now used to be taken as literal back then. I had to keep telling him I was joking.

We were both going to do our research papers this weekend too. HAH. He didn’t do his and I sure as hell didn’t do mine. I think that’s why we’re good friends

P.S. We didn’t fuss this visit

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